A Pirate I Was Meant to Be

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Guybrush: I’ve got to get that map back or we’ll never find Blood Island.
(sarcastic) Thanks, guys. You were a world of help back there.

Bill: It was a rousing battle, Cap’n!

Haggis: Aye, and it reminds me of a song…

As if on cue, the crew starts dancing along as the song, “A Pirate I Was Meant to Be”, begins. [NOTE: The “Chorus” that I’m labelling refers to Haggis, Bill and Van Helgen, because in the game’s subtitles Van Helgen’s lyric says “A pirate I was meant to be!” while Bill and Haggis’ duplicate lyrics each say “Trim the sails and roam the sea!” but I’m only going by the audio’s correction of the lyrical errors in subtitle form that I’m writing to make it easier to read here, so without further ado, let’s begin, shall we?]

Haggis: We’re a band of vicious pirates! Van Helgen: A-sailin’ out to sea. Bill: When you hear our gentle singing… Haggis: You’ll be sure to turn and flee!

Guybrush becomes embarrassed at this.

Guybrush: Oh, this is just ridiculous.

He puts his hands on his hips trying to think of something to stop their singing, first by gentle persuasion.

Guybrush: Come on, men! We’ve got to recover that map! Bill: That pirate will be done for, when he falls into our trap!

We’re a club of tuneful rovers! Haggis: We can sing in every clef! Van Helgen: We can even hit the high notes! Haggis: It’s just too bad we’re tone deaf!

Chorus: A pirate I was meant to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush gets a little unamused and thinks up another gentle persuasion.

Guybrush: Let’s go defeat that evil pirate! Van Helgen: We know he’s sure to lose, ‘cause we know just where to fire at!

We’re thieving balladeers! Haggis: A gang of cutthroat mugs. Bill: To fight us off ye won’t need guns! Van Helgen: Just jolly good ear-plugs.

Chorus: A pirate I was meant to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush turns around at the camera during the chorus and gets bugged out, wondering what to do. Nevertheless, he keeps his cool and tries another gentle persuasion.

Guybrush: All right, crew, let’s get to work! Haggis: Our vocation is the thing we love, a thing we’d never shirk.

We will fight you in the harbor. Bill: We’ll battle you on land. Van Helgen: But when you meet singing pirates… (all of a sudden Guybrush joins in to finish the sentence) Guybrush: They’ll be more than you can stand.

Bill becomes amazed at this.

Bill: Ooooh! That was a good one! Guybrush: No, it wasn’t.

Guybrush turns around and is getting a bit annoyed, wondering how all this singing could go on. He tries one more gentle persuasion, nevertheless.

Guybrush: No time for song! We’ve got to move! Bill: The battle will be long, but our courage we will prove!

We’re a pack o’ scurvy sea-dogs. Haggis: Have we pity? Not a dram! Van Helgen: We all eat roasted garlic… Haggis: …then sing from the diaphragm!

Chorus: A pirate I was meant to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea!

During the chorus Guybrush gets really annoyed and covers his ears. With his options of gentle persuasion run out, he tries a different method, this time using a bit of annoyance to make them stop singing by persuasive force.

Guybrush: Less singing, more sailing. Van Helgen: When we defeat our wicked foe, his ship he will be bailing!

Bill: If ye try to fight us… Haggis: …you will get a nasty whackin’! Van Helgen: If ya disrespect our singin’… Bill: …we will feed ya to a kraken!

Chorus: A pirate I was meant to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea!

Guybrush is getting freaked out at the song not stopping, but nevertheless, he uses a bit of annoyance again to try to rebuke them into stopping their song.

Guybrush: I’m getting so sick of you guys and your rhyming. Haggis: We’re ready to set sail, though the cannons need a-priming.

Van Helgen: We’re troublesome corsairs! Bill: And we’ve come to steal your treasures! Haggis: We would shoot you on the downbeat… Van Helgen: …but we’ve got to rest five measures.

Chorus: A pirate I was meant to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea!

With his patience running thin, Guybrush makes one more move, though it won’t do him any good: he tries whining in annoyance into making them stop the singing.

Guybrush: Stop! Stop! Stop! Bill: The brass is what we’ll polish and the deck is what we’ll mop.

Knowing that it doesn’t work, Guybrush joins in song to scold them for their singing, shrugging his shoulders in annoyance as he sings.

Guybrush: You say you’re nasty pirates… …scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers? From what I’ve seen I tell you… …you’re not pirates! You’re just slackers!

Chorus: A pirate I was meant to be! Trim the sails and roam the sea!

With his options completely run out, he thinks of what to do to make them stop their song. Finally, he gets an idea: to sing some lyric that doesn’t rhyme. Having no other choice, he goes for one more shot to make them stop once and for all. This time, he confuses them with a smile on his face.

Guybrush: We’ll surely avoid scurvy if we all eat an orange. Haggis: And…! …um… Bill: Well… Van Helgen: …err… Bill: Door hinge? Van Helgen: No, no… Bill: Guess the song’s over, then. Haggis: Guess so. Van Helgen: Okay, back to work. Guybrush: Well, gee. I feel a little guilty, now.

It was a nice laugh that reminded me of the good old times back in the day.

Text copied fromĀ GameFAQs, they have the whole transcript of the game!

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